Can We Fix This?
by GazingUpAtTheMoon
Summary: Bellamy survives the Pit and rejoins the group, but the only thing on his mind is confronting the one person he couldn't stand to have left him behind: Clarke. And the conversation is not going to be too pretty. (Bellarke)


Because I really need these two to have a honest to God conversation about everything that's happened this season. Yelling, tears, and forgiveness ahoy!

Forewarning, Bellamy and Echo are still together in this story, but it's very much in the background, and it leans heavily to implied romantic Bellarke.

* * *

The door slams behind him.

Bellamy hadn't meant to make such a dramatic entrance. He wanted to confront Clarke, sure, but when he had dreamt up the encounter, it wasn't with him radiating with so much anger he felt as if the only way to get rid of it was punch the wall.

He had plenty of time to think how this was going to go down since Clarke left him. That is, _left him for dead_. It'd been days but where her hand had slapped against his face still stung with unyielding pain and betrayal. And guilt. Oh, so much guilt.

When coming to the Valley, saved by Echo and a shocking show of mercy from Octavia, Bellamy wasn't sure what Clarke would even be doing. Loyalties shifted with every passing hour on this new Earth. Would she still be trying to ally with Dioyoza? Or maybe she took Madi far away and left everyone else to destroy each other.

No, he knew she wouldn't. There was still Abby to consider. And even Raven. Clarke wouldn't abandon them, no matter how much she wanted to get as far away as possible from him.

 _Clarke gives him one last scratching look, then turns her back and leaves him in the bloody hands of his sister._

Echo confirmed as much as they had been travelling back to the valley. The miners were at civil war, Abby being held hostage by the apparently "new" bad guys, and Dioyoza now a shaky ally. Clarke was with them, hunkered up in one of the makeshift shelters Kane had managed to erect with some miners, trying to figure out the best plan of attack to get Abby back.

There was so much more pressing matters to deal with, Bellamy knew this, but the moment the Rover came to a halt in their new safe haven, (if safe was a word any of them could even use anymore), all he wanted to do was talk to one specific person.

Kane and Raven where there to greet them.

They both looked worse for wear but Raven's smile was bright upon seeing him and Kane's shoulders sagged with relief.

"Bellamy, thank goodness." Kane breathed.

Raven chuckled. "I know a cat can have nine lives, but you're just being obnoxious now."

He ignores them both, can't even appreciate that at least there was _some_ people who gave a damn if he lived or died, and demands, bluntly, "Where's Clarke?"

Echo is silent next to him, her face impassive. It was never a good thing when Echo was quiet. It meant she was thinking about something. Planning more likely. But Bellamy couldn't concentrate on that right now. He had to stop for a minute worrying about whatever crisis flung itself at him. Ever since making in back down to this godforsaken place, it's been one crisis after the other. No time to think. Breathe. Just stop for one damn minute.

Was that where he and Clarke went wrong? They hadn't had time to talk. _Really_ talk. The kind that merited six years of silence, six years of thinking she was dead. All it's been since seeing her again- _alive_ -has been miners, Madi, Octavia, and war. Wash rinse and repeat.

In the midst of that all, of trying to stay alive and keep others alive, they lost each other. _Again._

" _We'll go to the valley, together."_

" _Together"_

But they hadn't been together. Bellamy cursed himself upon realizing it, waiting for the fight in the pit, waiting for his death. They had always been a team and after six years, they thought they could fall right back into old patterns.

But he wasn't the same Bellamy. And she wasn't the same Clarke. And neither of them stopped for a second to actually acknowledge that. That they wouldn't sacrifice the same things anymore or be okay with crossing some lines.

They fumbled around each other, trying to be their past selves while attempting to quiet their present ones. And there lied their downfall.

" _You promised!" Clarke screamed, chains rattling as she struggled to escape._

Bellamy had chained her once before. He had been wrong then but he didn't think he had been wrong now.

Raven shoots Echo a quick, but concerned, look.

Kane pauses for a minute, confused at his bluntness. Nonetheless, he points to a shelter some feet away, "There"

Bellamy really hopes Madi is out doing something.

No one follows him. Anger he thought he had in check burns his blood with each step he takes closer. He doesn't knock, doesn't call out. Just opens the door and slams it shut behind him.

They had been friends. More than friends. And she left him.

 _To die_.

Clarke had been bending down, perhaps tying the laces on her boots? She jumps at the sound of the door, her spine snapping straight and her hands flying to her hips were a gun and dagger are holstered.

Her eyes widen seeing it's him.

It's silence for the next few moments, the two of them wearily eyeing each other.

It does nothing to quell Bellamy's fury.

"I see Echo was successful." Her words are clipped. Clinical. Betraying no emotion, not even hostility. Even her eyes are unreadable.

He used to be so good at reading her.

"Six years," Bellamy says between gritted teeth. "And you no longer care if I live or die. I guess time does change some things."

Clarke frowns. Confused. "That's not-I left for Madi. To protect her. You-"

"You think I didn't want to protect her?" Bellamy all but snarls.

" _You promised me!" She screams. Her words echo in his minds for hours after._

The confusion on her faces dissolves at that. Now the anger making Bellamy irate is clear as day on Clarke's face. "What _you_ did," She spits back with just as much venom. "Was the most dangerous thing you could have done for her. Making her Commander? Revealing her to everyone? Challenging Octavia? She'll have a target on her back for the rest of her life now. _All because of you!_ "

"I was trying to end the war."

"By sacrificing Madi!"

"Clarke, we've made worse choices before in the past."

But they weren't those people anymore.

Stop forgetting.

" _She's my daughter!_ " Clarke cries. "It's different now! I can't make the same choices I have before. _I can't,_ Bellamy. You need to understand that."

"Understand?" A mirthless laugh crawls up his throat. "Understand your actions when you won't do the same for me? _I poisoned my sister_. Do you _understand_ what that did to me? What it took for me to do it? To hurt the one person I've practically dedicated my whole life to?"

Clarke falters at that. A small crack in her icy composure but she recovers quickly. "You did what you had to."

"Exactly!" Bellamy exclaims. "And I did what I had to with Madi. Why is it okay for me to make sacrifices? To hurt the people I love?"

"No, no, you can't do that. Octavia and Madi are not the same-"

"Don't you dare say I love Octavia any less than you love Madi."

"No-I'm not-that's not what I meant. Damn it, Bellamy, enough of this. What did you come here for? A screaming match? Going around in circles?"

"I came here because I need to understand."

"Understand what?"

"What happened to us." He says quietly. Brokenly. He's not crying but Bellamy can feel his eyes water. He feels his shoulders sag and the feeling of utter defeat cool down his pounding blood. "I got you back Clarke, after six years, but I realized something after you left. I never got you back, not really. I-I don't know you anymore."

Shock washes over Clarks' features, and she steps back. Away from him? The truth? Herself? But the shack is small, there is nowhere to go. No way left to avoid the conversation they should have had ages ago.

She stops retreating, realizing the uselessness of it, and squares her shoulders. But she's not as strong as before. He can see her hand, now a fist, trembling and her teeth barely peeking out to bite at her lip. Tell-tale signs of a barely holding it together Clarke.

"I don't know _you_ anymore." She whispers back, just as dejected.

It's fair enough, but Bellamy isn't sure what to reply. How to move this forward. How to move _them_ forward. Was it even possible after all the hurt that's been done?

"I poisoned Octavia for you." He admits into the quiet of the shack. "It…it was the smart move. Monty had been right. But I wasn't thinking about that when I dipped the food in the algae. All I could think about was her executing you. You, dead, again. And I-I couldn't go through that. Not again. I couldn't let you, Clarke. I just couldn't."

Her eyes widen slightly.

"But you could deal with me being dead."

Clarke flinches. "I…Madi. I had to protect Madi. It-it wasn't so easy. It wasn't so black and white-"

"It was. At the end of the day it was. You made a choice-"

"So did _you_ , Bellamy."

"I would never choose any option that ended with you dead Clarke, ever."

She shakes her head, blonde hair bobbing erratically around her pale face. "Because I'm your family? You have a new family, you said as much."

"Don't. Don't try and twist that."

" _You_ said it, not me. Monty, Harper, Emori, Murhpy, _Ehco_."

He hears it. Had been dreading it. The extra hitch in her voice. The extra emphasis and barely contained disdain. Bellamy had been waiting for _this_ since he chose never to tell her. To confront and explain what happened on the Ring. "Say it, Clarke, I know you want to."

"Say what? What you haven't even bothered to voice aloud to me?"

"We've been a bit preoccupied to discuss our love lives."

"You're with Echo." She states. "Not much to discuss is there? Not that you even wanted to. But my eyes did the job for me."

"Six years of only six people. I'm not going to apologize for the connections we made."

"I don't expect you to. You don't owe me anything."

"Your shaking fists say otherwise."

She hides her hands in an instant. "You didn't tell me. We always told each other everything. But it wasn't because we were preoccupied. Don't lie. You made it a point not to tell me. And not to even talk about it after I saw."

She's right. He knows it. But Bellamy isn't sure how to justify himself. So he reaches for straws. "We weren't all on the best terms six years ago. I didn't know how you'd handle-"

"Bullshit!" Clarke explodes and then marches right to him. She gets in his face, points a finger at his chest, raves and Bellamy takes it all in stride. "I would have understood. You _know_ I would have understood. So try again."

"Clarke-"

"Come on, don't chicken out now. You came in here hot and heavy and ready to talk. So let's talk."

"Echo and I-" What? Echo and I what? His mouth hangs slightly open, words refusing to come out. "I love her."

Was that what he wanted to say?

Why does it sound too much like an excuse?

"Congratulations." Clarke calms, slightly, but doesn't move from him. "I'm happy you fell in love while I was down here fighting for my life."

"That's not fair. I didn't know-"

"I know that. Doesn't change anything. I was here, you were there, and that's that."

"What do you want from me Clarke?"

"I almost killed myself, while you were falling in love."

Bellamy's blood runs cold.

And Clarke's eyes aren't just watering now. "I was alone, why you were falling in love. I was trying to raise a child, while you were falling in love. I was _losing my damn mind_."

No, no, she said it was hard. But not this. Clarke hadn't hinted to this.

 _You should have known,_ a treacherous voice whispers. _You should have saw through her lies._

 _You didn't want to._

"Clarke…"

"I radioed you." She breathes, tears blurring her vision and making her throat croak. "Every day for six years. You, Bellamy. Not the others. I wanted to speak to you. Hear your voice. You kept me sane. Six years, every day, and-and then you came back-"

And then it went to hell.

"I didn't get you back either." She whimpers.

She's moving away from him, again, but Bellamy reaches forward before she can. He grabs her forearms, keeps her close, closer. "We can fix this."

"How?"

"Because it's you and me."

"I don't know what that means anymore."

"Yes you do," Bellamy breathes, angles his head toward her. Looks into her eyes. Wills her to make this work. "You're Clarke, I'm Bellamy, and we do what we have to. For our people. For our family."

She shakes her head, tries to break from him. "We don't want the same things anymore."

"Yes we do. We just…we got lost, for a minute."

Clarke laughs. "I left you to die." Her words are more broken then she intended.

"I put Madi in harm's way."

And maybe this is what they needed. The first step to healing them. Forgiveness.

" _If you need forgiveness, I'll give that you."_

" _You want forgiveness, fine, I'll give it to you."_

"I love her, Bellamy. She's my world."

Madi wasn't here before, but she was now. Bellamy knew it, but didn't comprehend it. So quick to try and fix things. Hadn't stopped to think. Well, he was stopping now.

"I know, I'm sorry."

She weeps, his words cutting through the bitterness they created. Her head falls forward and their foreheads bump together. Neither are inclined to move away.

"I didn't want to leave you," She admits quietly in the space between their lips. "It killed me. But I had to get Madi away. I-I couldn't think of a way to get her and you out. And I was so angry at you. And afraid. God, I was so afraid."

"I'm afraid too."

"I didn't think Octavia would actually do it. I thought-I hoped, she would free you."

Bellamy smirks, despite it all. "Well, per usual, you're right about most things."

She's going to ask how, why, but Bellamy doesn't want to talk about that yet. The real world could wait for a damn second. His right hand releases her arm to reach up to her cheek, gently cupping it and wiping away the tears staining her skin. "Not now, I'll tell you, but not now."

She nods, silently, and then leans into his touch.

"I've missed you. So much."

He's been here, but he knows what she means.

"I've missed you too….Clarke, we can fix this."

"We need to fix everything else first."

"No," Bellamy says it so forcefully that Clarke actually starts a bit in surprise. But he holds her face firmly against this own and looks deep into her eyes. "Screw everything else. This first-this is more important."

"Bellamy-"

"I need you, Clarke. I've always needed you."

Always. Since coming to Earth. Every day since knowing she existed. Bellamy needed her like he needed air.

And now he knows why he never mentioned Echo.

She sniffles but smiles. "Whatever the hell we want."

Their noses nudge against each other and when he speaks, he feels the way his lips flutter against her own.

"Whatever the hell we want."

They can fix this.

They're Bellamy and Clarke.


End file.
